Egg Fried Rice: Not Your Uncle Roger’s Disappointment
Fried rice: the ultimate fridge raider, the champion of leftovers, and a dish so simple it practically cooks itself (well, almost). But fear not, for I, your friendly neighborhood recipe guide (who unlike some YouTubers cough actually knows how to use a wok), will walk you through this culinary masterpiece.
Ingredients:
- Cold, leftover rice: This isn’t the time to be showing off your perfectly cooked jasmine rice. We need rice that’s been chilling in the fridge like a boss, preferably leftover from last night’s takeout (because who has the time to cook rice twice?). Day-old rice is drier and separates better, preventing you from ending up with a mushy mess. Yes, Uncle Roger would approve.
- Eggs: Don’t be fooled by their humble exterior. These bad boys are the Michael Jordan of this dish, swooping in and binding everything together.
- Oil: Any high-heat oil will do. Feel free to impress your friends with fancypants sesame oil, but for the rest of us, canola or vegetable oil works just fine.
- Vegetables: This is where you unleash your inner creative genius (or just raid the crisper drawer). Chopped onions, peas, carrots, bell peppers – the possibilities are endless! Just avoid soggy vegetables like, well, anything Uncle Roger would use.
- Protein (optional): Leftover chicken, shrimp, tofu, or even spam (don’t judge, it’s a classic) can elevate this dish from college staple to restaurant-worthy (almost).
- Soy sauce: The salty king. Add a splash or two, or go wild and live on the edge with a tablespoon (but seriously, don’t).
- Other seasonings: A sprinkle of salt, pepper, and maybe a dash of your favorite Asian-inspired seasoning (like MSG, but shhh, we don’t talk about that in polite company… unless you’re Uncle Roger, then MSG is basically a life source).
Instructions:
- Heat your wok over high heat. If you don’t have a wok, a large frying pan will do in a pinch. Just pretend you’re cooler than you are while you cook.
- Crack those eggs and scramble them in a bowl. Don’t overcook them, you want them soft and fluffy, not rubbery.
- Pour a generous amount of oil into your wok and let it get nice and hot. Hot enough to sizzle when a drop of water hits it, but not hot enough to spontaneously combust (unless you’re going for that dramatic flair).
- Add your vegetables and protein (if using). Stir-fry them until they’re tender-crisp, because nobody likes mushy veggies.
- Push the veggies and protein to the side of the wok. It’s time for the star of the show: the rice.
- Add the rice and break it up with your spatula. Don’t be shy, get in there and loosen those rice clumps. We’re not looking for rice sculptures here.
- Pour in the soy sauce and seasonings. Stir-fry everything together until it’s heated through and evenly coated.
- Finally, add your scrambled eggs back in. Gently fold them into the rice, being careful not to overmix. You want fluffy egg bits, not scrambled egg mush.
- Serve immediately and bask in the glory of your creation. You just made restaurant-quality (okay, maybe not Michelin-starred, but definitely tastier than Uncle Roger’s version) egg fried rice in under 15 minutes. How’s that for impressive?
Bonus points:
- Garnish with chopped scallions or cilantro for a pop of color and freshness.
- Drizzle with a little bit of sesame oil for extra flavor.
- Serve with your favorite stir-fry sauce for dipping.
There you have it! The perfect egg fried rice recipe, guaranteed to impress everyone except maybe Uncle Roger (but hey, you can’t win ’em all). Now go forth and conquer those kitchen woes, one delicious grain of rice at a time.